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| "I called out with everything I had, hoping someone, somewhere, might hear me. When a voice answered, my heart leapt with hope. But the mountains were only giving my own words back to me. Hear me... hear me... And then I was alone again." |
Hello, from a place where the mountains have swallowed every familiar direction.
I'm frightened to move, frightened to stay, and terribly afraid nobody will find me.
I Should Have Turned Back
I can remember the exact moment I first felt uneasy. I'd reached a fork in the mountain trail, and neither direction looked particularly inviting. One path climbed steeply over loose stones, while the other disappeared around a wall of rock. I chose the second, thinking it would eventually lead me back towards the main trail. It didn't. The path grew narrower, the cliffs rose higher, and before long, I couldn't even see the valley I'd left behind.
I tried retracing my steps, but the rocks looked different from the opposite direction. I stopped several times, arguing with myself about which way I'd come. I wish I'd listened to that first little feeling of unease. Instead, I kept walking, convincing myself that the next bend would put everything right.
⛰️ A Place Too Small for My Fear
The ledge was barely wide enough for me to sit comfortably. I could feel the rough stone pressing against my back, and beyond my feet was a drop I couldn't bring myself to look down. I kept my arms wrapped tightly around my legs, afraid that even shifting my weight might send loose stones tumbling over the edge. Every so often, a little pebble would break free somewhere above me. I'd hear it strike the cliff, then another rock, then another, until the sound disappeared far below. Each time, my stomach tightened.
I tried looking for a way forward, but the path seemed to end against another enormous wall of stone. Behind me, the ledge curved out of sight, and I couldn't remember how I'd managed to cross some of its narrowest sections. I was afraid of going back, but staying there frightened me just as much. I wanted to stand in an open field where I could see the horizon. I wanted grass beneath my feet instead of loose rock. I wanted to hear birds, people, anything that reminded me the rest of the world was still out there.
What upset me most was how desperately I wanted to leave. I'd spent so much of my life seeking places like this, admiring mountains from valleys and wondering what their hidden paths might reveal. Now I couldn't bear the sight of another cliff. I kept looking upwards, hoping to find a little more sky, but the rock faces seemed to lean towards one another. I knew they weren't moving. That didn't stop me feeling as though the space around me was getting smaller.
The Voice That Came Back
This free verse poem is about a moment when my love of exploring nature couldn't protect me from being afraid of it. I wanted to write about the uncomfortable thoughts I had while sitting on that ledge, especially the terrible uncertainty of not knowing whether I could find my way out.
At one point, I called for help. A voice answered from somewhere beyond the cliffs, and I scrambled to my knees before I realised it was only an echo. I called again anyway. I don't know why. Perhaps I couldn't bear the thought of hearing nothing at all.
When my voice finally disappeared, I sat back against the stone and watched the remaining daylight slip away. I had no idea what I was going to do next.
⛰️Too Small for All This Stone
A Free Verse Poem by Khalia Wildawn
I should have turned back at the fork,
before the valley vanished from sight,
before the trail became a question
I could no longer answer.
Now the cliffs stand shoulder to shoulder,
their broken faces rising beyond my view.
I sit where the narrow ledge permits,
my back pressed hard against the mountain.
A pebble falls somewhere above me.
I hear it strike the rocks below,
counting each sharp little collision
until the silence takes it away.
I dare not follow it with my eyes.
My knees are trembling against my chest,
and the stone beneath my fingers
feels terribly indifferent to my fear.
I used to love these towering giants,
their jagged crowns against the morning sky.
How strange to sit among such beauty
and wish I had never seen it.
I'd give anything for an open meadow,
for grass that wouldn't crumble beneath me,
for a horizon I could walk towards
without wondering where the ground might end.
I call for help into the hollow cliffs.
A voice answers, distant and faint.
For one wonderful, foolish heartbeat,
I believe somebody has heard me.
"Hello?" I cry, rising to my knees.
"Please, can you hear me?"
Hear me... hear me...
The mountains give my words back,
but nothing of the person I need.
I lower myself against the cold rock,
afraid to move, more afraid to remain.
Above me, the last daylight catches the peaks.
Down here,
I am too small for all this stone,
and nobody answers when I call.
There's more I’d love to share with you.
The mountains have left me with feelings I never expected, and although this experience frightened me, it hasn't taken away my love for their extraordinary beauty. I'd love to share a different side of that love with you.
Perhaps you'd enjoy exploring more of my Mountain Wilds, discovering how Free Verse Poetry gives me the freedom to express even my most difficult feelings, or reading The Edge of Heaven and Earth, where the mountains offered me a very different experience. That one reminds me why I fell in love with these magnificent places.
Whichever you choose, I hope you'll find something that touches your heart, stirs your curiosity, or reminds you that even the places we love can surprise us in ways we never imagined.
— Khalia Wildawn 🌼
Where Would You Like To Go Next?
🌿 Back to Where It All Begins
Come back to my home among the wild and see what else is waiting to be discovered - Home
🌼 Come Get to Know Me
There’s more to me than the poems I write. I’d love to tell you a little about who I am and the things that make me, me - Hello, I’m Khalia
🪶 Discover the Heart Behind My Poetry
Nature makes me wonder, smile, ache, question and feel alive. Come discover how those feelings find their way into my words - Why I Write